As a ministry leader God has called me to wrestle with difficult issues that prior to my call to this position I had taken for granted. I find that I have formed opinions based more on a general sense of what the Bible says rather than just allowing Scripture to speak for itself. The issue of Christian people living together outside the covenant of marriage is one such issue. I had an opinion on the issue and didn’t give much thought to it until I found myself in a position where I was required to make decisions concerning this issue as it relates to the ministry. God has set a day when I will be required to give an answer for all that has been entrusted to me. It is my sincere desire that on that day I will be found faithful in my duties. Therefore as I approach this issue I jettison all preconceived notions, denominational stances and ideas as it relates to this issue. I simply want to understand to the best that God will allow what His Word says and stand only upon that.
As it relates to the issue of marriage the Scriptures are replete with passages concerning the institution of marriage. Mark 10:6 “But in the beginning, at the time of creation, 'God made them male and female,' as the scripture says. 7 'And for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and unite with his wife, 8 and the two will become one.' So they are no longer two, but one. 9 No human being must separate, then, what God has joined together." I will not begin to deal with all of them, however I believe I am correct in saying that God holds a very special place in His heart for marriage. I believe that there is at least a two fold reason why. The first has to do with His love for people. It goes far beyond my understanding as over and over it’s demonstrated in the Bible. Divorce hurts all involved and therefore God hates it. Malachi 2:16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel. "I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife."
I believe that a second reason that God holds a special place in His heart as it relates to marriage has to do with the fact that when He sees a marriage it’s more than the union of the man and woman There is also a picture of His relationship between Him and His creation. Romans 6:5 “For since we have become one with him in dying as he did, in the same way we shall be one with him by being raised to life as he was.” As this picture is figuratively portrayed throughout the Bible God speaks very lovingly and protectively of it. It is something very special to Him. The physical sign of that is found in the sexual union of a man and woman who have made this vow of marriage. We can see that God fiercely protects this sacred act over and over because it’s not just something casual to Him.1Corinthians 6:16 “Or perhaps you don't know that the man who joins his body to a prostitute becomes physically one with her? The scripture says quite plainly, "The two will become one body."
There are at least two words in the New Testament that deal with the issue of sex outside marriage or as the Bible frequently translates it, “fornication.” Below I have listed the two different Greek words that identify fornication along with their definition. I have also included the Strong’s number designation with each verse so that you can correctly understand the appropriate definition.
G4202 porneia Thayer Definition: 1) illicit sexual intercourse 1a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
G4203 porneuō Thayer Definition:1) to prostitute one’s body to the lust of another 2) to give one’s self to unlawful sexual intercourse 2a) to commit fornication
Matthew 15:19 For from your heart come the evil ideas which lead you to kill, commit adultery, and do other immoral things; to rob, lie, and slander others. 4202
Mark 7:21 For from the inside, from your heart, come the evil ideas which lead you to do immoral things, to rob, kill, 4202
Acts 15:20 Instead, we should write a letter telling them not to eat any food that is ritually unclean because it has been offered to idols; to keep themselves from sexual immorality; and not to eat any animal that has been strangled, or any blood.
Acts 15:29 eat no food that has been offered to idols; eat no blood; eat no animal that has been strangled; and keep yourselves from sexual immorality. You will do well if you take care not to do these things. With our best wishes." 4202
Acts 21:25 But as for the Gentiles who have become believers, we have sent them a letter telling them we decided that they must not eat any food that has been offered to idols, or any blood, or any animal that has been strangled, and that they must keep themselves from sexual immorality." 4202
Romans 1:29 They are filled with all kinds of wickedness, evil, greed, and vice; they are full of jealousy, murder, fighting, deceit, and malice. They gossip 4202
1Corinthians 6:13 Someone else will say, "Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food." Yes; but God will put an end to both. The body is not to be used for sexual immorality, but to serve the Lord; and the Lord provides for the body. 4202
1Corinthians 6:18 Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body; but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body.
1Corinthians 7:2 But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband. 4202
1Corinthians 10:8 We must not be guilty of sexual immorality, as some of them were---and in one day twenty-three thousand of them fell dead. 4203
2Corinthians 12:21 I am afraid that the next time I come my God will humiliate me in your presence, and I shall weep over many who sinned in the past and have not repented of the immoral things they have done---their lust and their sexual sins. 4202
Galatians 5:19 What human nature does is quite plain. It shows itself in immoral, filthy, and indecent actions; 4202
Ephesians 5:3 Since you are God's people, it is not right that any matters of sexual immorality or indecency or greed should even be mentioned among you. 4202
Colossians 3:5 You must put to death, then, the earthly desires at work in you, such as sexual immorality, indecency, lust, evil passions, and greed (for greed is a form of idolatry). 4202
1Thesselonians 4:3 God wants you to be holy and completely free from sexual immorality. 4202
Revelation 9:21 Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic, their sexual immorality, or their stealing. 4202
I recognize that obedience to these commands in Scripture presents some difficulties. It’s not my intention to make light of very real problems, nor do I seek to offer pat answers to difficult questions. However, I believe that the Word of God is very clear on this issue even though our culture and often times our ‘Christian’ culture would have a greatly different view. Please understand that this does not leave you in a hopeless position if you are in this situation because God tells us in 1 John 1:9 that is we will confess our sin He will not only forgive but purify you from unrighteousness. Matthew 10:29 says, “For only a penny you can buy two sparrows, yet not one sparrow falls to the ground without your Father's consent. 30 As for you, even the hairs of your head have all been counted. 31 So do not be afraid; you are worth much more than many sparrows!” God cares about you and will not let you down, no matter what your needs are, just trust Him as you live out your faith.
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